"I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T"

I've been a little down lately because every young woman that I spent my high school years socializing with is either married or engaged. I started looking at myself, wondering if there was something wrong with me, and Why not me????

Just as I was about to fall into a state of utter self-pity, it hit me:

If I were to be engaged or marry within the next two years, I would be going COMPLETELY against my convictions.

Before someone is married, I believe that they should be an independent person. Meaning that they should be independent from their parents emotionally, spiritually, financially, and sometimes physically. They should be able to make their own decisions about their own life, without their parents, friends, and society's approval/disapproval, and should be accomplishing, purposeful individuals. They should also recognize that they are accountable to God, and the same aforementioned people.

I believe several scriptures supports this conviction.

Numbers 30: Then Moses said to the heads of the tribes of the Israelites: This is what the LORD has commanded. ²When a man makes a vow to the LORD, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word; he shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.

3 When a woman makes a vow to the LORD, or binds herself by a pledge, while within her father's house, in her youth, ⁴and her father hears of her vow or her pledge by which she has bound herself, and says nothing to her; then all her vows shall stand, and any pledge by which she has bound herself shall stand. ⁵But if her father expresses disapproval to her at the time that he hears of it, no vow of hers, and no pledge by which she has bound herself, shall stand; and the LORDwill forgive her, because her father had expressed to her his disapproval.
6 If she marries, while obligated by her vows or any thoughtless utterance of her lips by which she has bound herself, ⁷and her husband hears of it and says nothing to her at the time that he hears, then her vows shall stand, and her pledges by which she has bound herself shall stand. ⁸But if, at the time that her husband hears of it, he expresses disapproval to her, then he shall nullify the vow by which she was obligated, or the thoughtless utterance of her lips, by which she bound herself; and the LORD will forgive her. ⁹(But every vow of a widow or of a divorced woman, by which she has bound herself, shall be binding upon her.) ¹⁰And if she made a vow in her husband's house, or bound herself by a pledge with an oath, ¹¹and her husband heard it and said nothing to her, and did not express disapproval to her, then all her vows shall stand, and any pledge by which she bound herself shall stand. ¹²But if her husband nullifies them at the time that he hears them, then whatever proceeds out of her lips concerning her vows, or concerning her pledge of herself, shall not stand. Her husband has nullified them, and the LORD will forgive her. ¹³Any vow or any binding oath to deny herself,^a her husband may allow to stand, or her husband may nullify.¹⁴But if her husband says nothing to her from day to day,^b then he validates all her vows, or all her pledges, by which she is obligated; he has validated them, because he said nothing to her at the time that he heard of them. ¹⁵But if he nullifies them some time after he has heard of them, then he shall bear her guilt.
16 These are the statutes that the LORD commanded Moses concerning a husband and his wife, and a father and his daughter while she is stillyoung and in her father's house.

a Or to fast b Or from that day to the next

A few points I want to make:

1. The LORD was talking about vows being made to Him by women and men. It states the if a man makes a vow--He should keep it.
2. The LORD places two conditions of a woman's word or vow being nullified by her father or parental authority 1) she must be a youth/in her childhood and 2) in her father's house

The focus that the LORD makes is on maturity AND independence.

Interestingly enough, there are no instructions made for an adult woman, who is living in her father's home. Why? Could it be because she is considered independent from her father's authority, because of her maturity? I believe that can be up for interpretation, and in my opinion, I believe it to be so.

Another passage that I believe supports my view, is Proverbs 31.

Ode to a Capable Wife

¹⁰ A capable wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
¹¹ The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
¹² She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
¹³ She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
¹⁴ She is like the ships of the merchant,
she brings her food from far away.
¹⁵ She rises while it is still night
and provides food for her household
and tasks for her servant-girls.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She girds herself with strength,
and makes her arms strong.
¹⁸ She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
²⁰ She opens her hand to the poor,
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
²¹ She is not afraid for her household when it snows,
for all her household are clothed in crimson.
²² She makes herself coverings;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is known in the city gates,
taking his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them;
she supplies the merchant with sashes.
²⁵ Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
²⁶ She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
²⁷ She looks well to the ways of her household,
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children rise up and call her happy;
her husband too, and he praises her:
²⁹ "Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all."
³⁰ Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹ Give her a share in the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the city gates.

a Cn: Heb where b Heb all children of passing away

Some more points that I want to make. This woman is:

1. an adult woman being spoken about
2. financially independent (vs. 16, 18, 24)
3. trusted by her husband, and brings him financial gain (vs. 11)
4. a working woman (vs. 13, 15, 18, 19, etc.)
5. financially wise (vs. 18)
6. manages her household (vs. 15)
7. a HEALTHY woman (vs. 17)
8. a wise and knowledgeable woman (vs. 26)
9. a benevolent woman (vs. 20)

There are many more points that I could point out about this woman that King Lemuel talks about in Proverbs 31, but I'll stop there. I must remember that this exact example of a woman is not mandated by God, or Jesus, and I believe that we should examine the basic principles of the way this woman lived her life, and use the wisdom that she exemplifies.

One factor that is sometimes overlooked is that this woman was all of these things independently from her husband and father. This was a woman who was personally accountable for her actions, and knew that. This woman did not wait for permission from her father, her husband, or society to allow her to A problem that I believe is in the Christian Church today, is that people believe that the woman is the housekeep/child-rearer, and the man is the one to go out and "win the bread." But when looking at this example of a purposeful, productive, and independent woman, it is clear that it is an equal financial and spiritual responsibility.

In my opinion, marriage itself is a partnership. There is not one person responsible for the financial, emotional, and spiritual provision for the family; there isn't one person responsible for the raising of the children; it is a collective effort by both the husband AND the wife. When a person marries, they change from being independent to being interdependent, sharing a common life, responsibility, and purpose.

Reflecting on all of this as a single woman, it is very important for me to understand that in order for me to be a wonderful wife and mother, I must posses good qualities PRIOR to the process of being married and a mother. I must also posses these qualities for my own personal growth, and not for the purpose of being married and a mother--though having these qualities benefit these positions tremendously.

I believe it high time for women and men to stop searching for a lifetime partner and focusing on personal growth, and living life, as well as being financially responsible for yourself and learning how to be responsible for their own actions.

As hard as it may be, I must shift my mind and heart towards the place where God has called me: independence. Yes, it will be hard to do it without the motivating factor of marriage. But I should always remember that my ultimate goal is to honor God in the place where He has called me.

FREEDOM!!

In service today Auntie Elsie preached about having the spirit of God in you. She gave example from the Creation, to Isaiah, to Jesus of the necessity of having the Holy Spirit in you. The Holy Spirit brings revelation where problems seem to overwhelm you. He gives wisdom, knowledge, and understanding when even the wisest and smartest people on earth are confused. It's interesting, because I have several issues that I'm facing right now that I need a revelation that is beyond the natural. I know that the solutions to these deep problems no one can give me but the Lord. It will take spending time in His presence, and walking in the Spirit to give me these answers.

I also remembered today that the way I will live righteously and in purity is not through my own power. It is by the spirit of God. I cannot forget that HE is the One who strengthens me.

After the message Uncle Olu began to speak freedom to the congregation, and we spent some time in prayer asking that the Spirit of God take control of our lives, and that He would manifest Himself in us. We also prayed for freedom to walk in His spirit and to do the things that He has called us to do. There was a time of deep worship and prayer, and by the end of the service, the Lord had completed some things in me that He had started from the time I woke up. I know that He is calling me to a deeper place in Him, and with each call I must leap. I know that I can no longer walk in fear. Everything that I do must be in Him and Him alone.

Several verses are sticking out to me as I've been typing, and I am going to put these references here.

2 Corinthians 3:¹²Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold. ¹³We are not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face to keep the Israelites from gazing at it while the radiance was fading away. ¹⁴But their minds were made dull, for to this day the same veil remains when the old covenant is read. It has not been removed, because only in Christ is it taken away. ¹⁵Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts. ¹⁶But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. ¹⁷Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. ¹⁸And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect^a]">[a] the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

Woo! Very intense...

Looking at the last two verses, it all hits me hard. When we turn to the Lord, "the veil," that blindness, that hindrance, that thing that keeps us from understanding, wisdom, and knowledge; that thing that keeps us from advancing into what God has called us to--it is removed!! Where God's Spirit resides, there is freedom. Now what does this freedom provide? What does it entail?

Reading Galatians 5 you can conclude that:

One, Christ made us free from the bondage of the law of sin and death, meaning, that we have life in Him and in His Spirit. The law of sin and death bound us to this world and to our flesh. Accepting Christ made it so that we are no longer bound to our flesh, but are made free to worship Him in Spirit and in Truth.

Two, though we are free, we are not free to do whatever we want. This freedom goes as far as righteousness and righteousness alone. Anything outside of righteousness binds us once again to this world and its lusts.

God keeps opening my eyes more and more to what life is without Him. I am so blessed to have turned to the Lord when I did. I could be in so much bondage right now, but He has made me free!!! I have a new confidence in Him that I didn't have before, and I believe that this new-found freedom will allow me to focus on Him and His mission: to show the world His love and to draw men to Him.

Ephesians 5

"6 Let no one deceive you with empty words,for because f these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therfore do not be partakers of them."

I remember the first time I noticed these words it was during the time of Junior. Empty, promising words....before I look at those who are speaking empty words to me, I must think about the empty wordsI say to other people. Am I flattering? Am I being full truthful in all that I say? I wonder......

Lord, may my words be full of life. May they reflect who You are and not myself.
May my words benefit those who listen, and be wholesome before You. May it build others up according to their needs.
(Ephesians 4:28-30)

Summer Time

This summer has been filled with work and school.
Not much has happened, but I'm pretty sure that God's about to do some incredible things in my life.
I continually face what seem to be minor decisions, and afterward it is revealed to me that they were life changing decisions. Thankfully, I have generally made God-fearing decisions, and when I have begun to walk down the wrong path, I then turn around, and run straight into my Daddy's arms. There are many a lesson to be learned by October, and I am trying to be willing to learn them.

Nigeria is getting closer and closer, and in a couple of weeks I will be meeting with the pastors. I am so excited!!!

Nigeria, here I come!

Ivy

has gold in her pocket.

Just

looked at my theknot.com profile.
My former wedding date was August 2009.

Lol.

Silly girl, tricks are for kids.

Godly Sorrow

I'm realizing more and more everyday that grace that God bestows upon me.  I remember the times that I have lived foolishly, taking advantage of His grace and mercy, and then He pulls me right back to where He wants me.

What a wonderful God He is.

2Co 7:9  Now I rejoice, not that you were grieved, but that you grieved to repentance. For you were grieved according to God, so that you might suffer loss by nothing in us. 

2Co 7:10  For the grief according to God works repentance to salvation, not to be regretted, but the grief of the world works out death. 

2Co 7:11  For behold this same thing (you being grieved according to God); how much it worked out earnestness in you; but also defense; but also indignation; but also fear; but also desire; but also zeal; but also vengeance! In everything you approved yourselves to be clear in the matter. 

The sorrow I have in my heart is godly; though I grieve, it is only for a moment, because He has brought me to repentance, turning my face and heart towards Him.

What a wonderful God He is!!!

Psalm 103:3-4 says, "If You, Lord, would mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? But there is forgiveness with You, that You may be feared."  It continues on in verse 8, saying that He is slow to anger, and He does not deal with us according to our sin, but throws them as far as the east is from the west. 

God's love is so great, so wonderful, that He disciplines me as a father disciplines His child (Heb. 12:7-10). 

As I look at the consequences I face each day for one sin or the other, I gratefully take them. 

I am becoming a woman and God no longer whispers my foolishness to my father, but disciplines me Himself.  

How I wish I could take a two weeks grounding and get it over with!

But it is His Love that disciplines me...

What a wonderful God He is!!!!!!!